It's a bit like a train journey really, first you decide on the trip itself, then you book a date, get everyone to the station, the train starts then gradually picks up speed until its racing and you are all well on your way!

What am I talking about? Why the Championships of course.

It all starts (each and every year) with the grandmaster saying "Ah, this year's championships, we must set a date".

All concerned gather together and several dates are bandied around, "Can you make it?"… "No!"… "Can you make this one? .."Yes!"… "I can't," says a small voice from the back … and so you start all over again.

Date finally settled, the President books the venue - wrong - they've got the Little Twittering Racing Pigeon and Bird Fancier Club that weekend (and 'No', there isn't one - I've already checked. Ed.) - back on the phone, "Can you make…." Here we go again!

Right, there's no Big Football, Tennis, Rowing or Racing that weekend, so hall booked & main organisers remove that particular date from their social calendar and the dreaded competition entry forms are printed.

Now into classes where virtually every session you mention the competition date stating quite categorically you only accept a student's demise for non entry; There's to be: no 'holidays', no pop concerts, no 'got to paint the garden shed', no 'great auntie Mary's 140th birthday party'…..nothing! Only you kicking the proverbial bucket will get you off the hook - that's what it is like in Region 4 anyway, I presume my esteemed colleagues do likewise.

You then spend the next few weeks, badgering, persuading, cajoling and issuing the direst of threats to get the assembled masses to enter - it doesn't always work, but you try anyway.

For some who are genuinely timid or genuinely occupied elsewhere, you do not push; perhaps you are disappointed with some non-entries knowing that it could and would benefit their self confidence greatly, for after all, facing strangers in the ring is the closest you will get to a real situation but with absolute safety. Others who you do not expect to enter, surprise you; some of the tiniest people cannot wait to get stuck in and some of the big'uns stop training for a little while until they think you're fed up asking …. (ha, ha, no chance) and many of the old faithfuls, perhaps the core of the classes, simply nod and complete the form there and then, quite happy to support and enjoy the event.

Incidentally, whilst we're on the subject of entry forms, please, please, please - read the questions carefully before completing them - we had one man 6'2" or thereabouts put his height at 1.12 metres (that's about 4 foot to you), another man suddenly became hobbit sized, one 17 year old weighed only '6 kilos' and one person's age was written as 'green belt', and that's just my lot! (Yes, you know who you are!) I must admit, when we sort out the entries later it does give us organisers a smile so perhaps keep up the ludicrous work folks!

We suspect some of the heights and weights were guessed at, mostly fairly accurate in the main I suppose but one student was way out which resulted in us having to remove him on the day of the Championships from his programmed fighting group and put in the next size up. He still won the gold medal in that group so imagine what mayhem he could done with the smaller ones. Please lads and lassies, a bit more effort to get things right. Thank you!

Oh and one last point on this item, there is always a deadline date on these sheets but true to form people still ring the day before the tournament to say "Sorry, my great auntie Mary hasn't made 140 years old after all so I can enter now, is it too late?" (My apologies by the way to anyone with a great auntie Mary who's 140 or 139, or thereabouts!)

We try to be as accommodating as possible, but think of our poor data entry clerks who have done many, many hours that week striving for the perfect day only to have it ruined. That's alright though, just pray you don't meet them in the free sparring because they will remember your name!

* Be afraid, be very afraid *

Right, so we're now at the day preceding the championships but I must ask you to bear with me a while and backtrack a piece - "referees, judges and officials" - they also have to be booked and sorted. Long before the big day, the database is trawled for all trained and available officials and the summons is issued as it were to check on availability. As we have said in previous magazines……………..
Ha! Some of you didn't know we issued magazines in the past did you, but they are out there and some due to the superb wit and wisdom therein can command quite a high price) Oh ye of little faith, I digress:

As stated in previous Championship reports, praise must go to the referees, judges and officials who once advised of their selection, attend training seminars specifically for the tasks ahead. Once you lot have trained in your Sunday morning class and then return home to sit in your nice sunny garden with a nice sparkling glass of whatever, these people are at headquarters all afternoon, practising to try and perfect their duties for the day, for whatever your views on 'officials', they also compete or have competed in the past and all wish to do their very best for the Federation and in particular for you, the competitor.

I must just say here that even with the officials, once the sheets have been keyboarded up as to who is officiating in what ring etc., the names are then checked, moved around, printed out, studied and moved around again in order that we try to obtain not only a fair mix of experience and newly trained, but also integrating the various teams with as widespread a representation of the regions too. It is because of the constant changing to get matters right that the odd typing slip appears and I must humbly beg forgiveness for not noticing when proofreading, the mention of Mr Laura Askell in ring 3 and Mr Jayne Topliss, ring 4. You were given the correct gender on the opposite page ladies, but I did miss that one. Sorry!

Other phone calls and messages are flying about, more meetings, who's supplying the mats, flags, entry sheets, officials' sheets, bed sheets, competitor sheets, wristbands, brass bands, stop watches, go watches, ribbons, table cloths, tables, chairs, flares, tapes, china plates, back-plates, footplates, safety pins, pens, whistles, scorecards, playing cards, food for the officials, flowers for the top table (take a breath) .... ad infinitum ………..and of course we must not forget the trophies ........whoops ….. or the paramedics!

A couple of days to go, the computer has thrown out who fights who once the poor overworked and definitely underpaid entry clerks have input the relevant data and then the manual inspection takes place: Oh these two cannot fight in the first round, they may be identical age, same belt and same weight but one is 5'4" and the other is almost 6'0" (this incidentally is very true of the young teens). Ok, we move this one here and that one there but then this one who is the lightest is facing the heaviest, oh dear, move that one along and oh look these two are brothers but then those two are from the same class …screeeeeammmmm!!

Right, so it's the big morning, here at last and I'm feeling-er- not so good. Eeach year I promise myself an early night the night before, no late boring film, no wine, no kebabs etc. Somehow it just never happens. Never mind, thank goodness for the liver salts, got me whistle, where's my wristbands ,I'm sure I had them last year, oh no, I've forgotten to iron my uniform, it's what? The wrong setting, ok, where's my belt? Now the zip's stuck on my sports bag, can you get my trainer out the dog's mouth, he's in the garden and dropped it in the pond, where's my car keys, "WHAT D'YOU MEAN YOU'LL BE GLAD WHEN I'VE GONE"…Biiiiiiiiiiiii.! Out the door and off we jolly well go!

Arriving well before time, it's amazing to see the amount of on-site preparation already put in both the night before and very early this morning by the Grandmaster, the definitely unsung hero(ine) Mrs Loke and a whole army of volunteers and helpers. It looks like they have been hard at work all night and they still have the whole day before them.

With so much finely tuned work and preparation done beforehand, we managed to have quite a laid back start for once, nothing like the frenetic actions of some of the early years and it was good to see some of the students there who were present in those earliest of years such as Master Clive Butterworth (5th duan), Mr Robert Hooper (3rd duan) and Mr David Hopkins (3rd duan) who like yours truly, trained in the 1970's. I must state here however, that although Master Butterworth was a red belt when I first saw him, he had just attained his first duan black belt when I started and he instructed the first half of my first ever lesson at the Tilbury / Grays club before the Grandmaster arrived from another class to complete the session. It was unfortunate that another student, still around from the 70's but who could not be present at the Championships. See Milestones page.

I will not go too much into the days events themselves as that has been very ably taken over this year by Miss Tina Matania( 2nd duan) from Region 2 which kindly gives me a break from my usual "cacophony of klaxons and crowds" quotation. Suffice to say the group photograph still took as long as it ever has done. My humble apologies to our usual photographer, Mr David Brown, who I have jokingly accused in the past of taking so long simply to be centre stage at a large gathering. Only joshing folks, he's a very able photographer and available for weddings, twenty first birthday parties, bah mitzvahs etc. and it seemed odd without him being there this year as he had other work commitments.

The new scoring system for the Duan grade forms suddenly insisted upon by the Grandmaster was a bit frightening at first as we had not intended to start it this year and had had little practice but it was quite good fun when we got the hang of it. In conversation afterwards with fellow judges, they found it had not had any detrimental effect on our choices of first, second and third. I think however a seminar on that could be most helpful.

With regard to the Day's actions and activities, I will let the photographs here (plus your own memories, good or otherwise) tell their own story and let them speak for themselves of the victories and defeats, lumps and bruises, surprises and expectations received and given. I thought it all tremendous fun. Congratulations here to the veterans (both men and "hrmmph" er, senior ladies) who despite getting older each year nevertheless conduct themselves with skill, excellent spirit and such an extremely high standard that belies their age. I'm sure you're getting younger. (I thought I was the only one.)

Our huge joint thanks must go to:
Grandmaster and Mrs Loke for many, many hours of hard work including one complete 24 hour stint.
Master Clive Butterworth for officiating in all four groups throughout the day (i.e. Ji Forms, Duan Forms, Ji Sparring and Duan Sparring) No other senior Official covered so many full time items.
Master Adam Goward: a great deal of support work and for one entire day at HQ for competitor selection.
The management and staff of Clements Hall sports centre for all their hard work and assistance.
Mr. Steve Merrell (3rd duan) for the superb professionalism shown as master of ceremonies.
Mr Tony Sellen (3rd duan) for bringing literally some last minute entries ('yeah thanks' Mr Sellen).
Miss Tina Matania for copious amounts of keyboarding (to the point of staying overnight at Master Loke's)
Also for Tina spending all day with the digital camera (incidentally she took 932 pictures and we had from her a complete breakdown of shots, the appropriate event numbers and in many cases, the participants' names, many of whom were initially unknown to her, within days. Excellent work and dedication.
To doctor Tariq Quereshi and his assistant from the Oxford University medical team for 'patiently attending his patients.'
Mr Panayotis Evagorou for his day long film and camera work.
The door 'security' Mrs Lam and Jessica Smith.
And lastly but by no means least:-
A very BIG thanks to you, the students and competitors and all the back stage helpers.
And ALL the parents, friends, relatives, spectators & old members who came to support and made Saturday 19th June 2004 the fantastic success it was. All being well, see you all next year.

Stay focused, stay safe. TANG SOU!

 

POST SCRIPT TIME

Incidentally, no thanks to the little tinkers who crumpled all those old polystyrene cups behind the stands nor to the one sweet little girl with blonde hair and big blue eyes who put water on all the chairs in reception as a funny little joke ---- as she thought! (And no, she didn't catch me - I was forewarned!) Mind you, I didn't catch her either, she was far too quick.

Quote time:

From paramedic, Dr Quereshi, who said it was surprising how many people came stiffly to him nursing supposedly mind boggling injuries only to receive a kind word, a small bandage and then be seen back in the ring a few minutes later flying around as though nothing had happened. Nano-second trauma rules ok!

From Senior First Duan, Kerry Akers (South Woodham Ferrers) "Master Cook, there must be some mistake, I'm only here as an official today but my name is up for Forms and Fighting." "No mistake Kerry, your mum Lynne (2nd duan) put your form in, she just forgot to tell you!" Well done Kerry for going on to collect a First and Third respectively anyway. Do you not remember Kerry, your Mum did that to your brother Phil (1st duan) a couple of years back and he took a gold in the sparring. No nerves rules ok!

And a final one from the Grandmaster following the fight between Mr Tony White (2nd duan) (age xx years) against much younger Mr Nick Evagorou (2nd duan) (far fewer xx years). "Good fight and all credit to Tony White but Nick, you're a much younger man". "Hey you see all these youngsters (points to all the teen duan grades watching) "When you're his age, they will all be trying to kick your backside!"

And so the day's activities came to a halt with everyone home tired but hopefully happy or inspired.

However, harking back to old times, it used to be a custom once the Championships was over, we would all visit the local hostelry to 'wind down' and discuss the day's events. Not so any more, it seems as today's athletic martial artist wishes to disappear quite quickly for an early night and a healthy cup of cocoa.

Looking for a family member who I appeared to have lost (that's my story and I'm sticking to it) I just happened to pop in to the nearby Cock Inn to search for him. Unfortunately he wasn't there; however, some people still maintain tradition and there was Master Butterworth, at the bar and together with a few Old Rochfordonians present we toasted the Day, had one for the road and went our weary but happy ways. (Except for the Old Rochfordonians -the home crowd - they remained and seemed settled for the night.) Goodnight!

Tang Sou!

Master Chris Cook, 5th Duan

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